In a year devoid of any real controversy, Malaysians will be heading to the polls on March 21, 2004. So, the question is—who to vote for?
The Incumbents: A Sure Win?
First off, the ruling party is looking stronger than ever. The opposition will have to ditch their “black book” of old grievances because, well, the Old Man has retired, and the new guy is doing a decent job so far.
And in Malaysian politics, where forgiveness is practically a national pastime, any attempt to rehash past government failures will likely fall flat with voters:
“Haiyaa, now PM also change already what, why bring up somemore?”
With a solid (if flawed) performance record, it’s hard to deny that this election will serve as a renewed endorsement for the incumbents. That said, without cronyism and corruption, we could have achieved so much more in a shorter time.
One thing I’d love to see? Some old guards losing their seats to make way for fresh blood.
The Rocket Party: A Silent Countdown to Self-Destruction?
I’ll be rooting for my favorite social democratic (or democratic socialist) party, even though their silence and absence over the past five years makes one wonder…
Did they suffer a “rocket malfunction” due to NASA budget cuts?
Or worse—are they on a collision course with electoral disintegration, set to explode into a spectacular fireworks display this election season?
Tough questions, but in an election devoid of major social issues, there’s not much to exploit.
Anwar: The Office Pakcik’s Pick for PM?
Of course, if you ask my office Pakcik, the only thing that matters is voting fairly and freeing Anwar.
To be fair, Anwar is a formidable politician—he has charisma, respect, and the ability to stir up the crowd like a pro. He’s also pro-business, which is just a polite way of saying he has his own personal business interests (but then again, who doesn’t?).
So what if he’s a poof? (His words, not mine.)
Personally, I have no issues with his alleged sexuality, but let’s be real—getting caught naked in bed and “getting jiggy” with self-righteous mullahs is just bad optics.
My suggestion? Drop the Taliban ties and focus on real issues instead of trying to be Malaysia’s Aung San Suu Kyi.
The Islamic Hardliners: The Fun Police is Coming
Ah yes, our very own made-in-Malaysia brand of religious extremists—whose declared mission is to rewrite the Constitution, transforming our moderately Islamic (but still secular-ish) state into a full-fledged theocracy.
Their big idea? Strip the country of all “vices” and impose a moral code on everyone.
Now, that might ensure them a spot in heaven, but what about the unbelievers? And where’s the fun in life if some of us can’t chomp on our favorite pork knuckles while downing a pint or two?
Let the Campaign Season Begin!
I can’t wait to attend the ceramahs—because if nothing else, Malaysian elections are always a spectacle worth watching.